There is no turning on the news anymore because we are all now on social media. You simply cannot escape the epidemic stress, cruelty and injustice that are happening all around us. I did a little experiment where I went on a social media fast for a few months. While I did feel better without it, when I came back I picked up right where I left of. I then cleaned up my timeline and unfollowed any negativity, but then my positive accounts started to speak up on various injustice happening in our world. So I realized, the issue is not the accounts I follow or the social media platforms, it is in my reaction to the bad news around me.

Every time we receive bad news, we face two main choices: 1- We can express our anger, disappointment, sadness and then re-ACT right away, ie. angry posts, protests, blaming ect….. which sometimes lead to more detrimental coping such as drinking, abuse, withdrawal and subject our environment to additional negative pressure.

2- We process the news and experience all of the emotions it brings and then retreat with a healthy coping mechanism so we can get ready to face the world. We now have some level of clarity and control over what we share, how we communicate, what we let in our heart, and who we engage with. I understand of course that some bad news require our immediate actions – for ex. a loved one getting into an accident, a friend who expressed suicide ideations ect.. but sometimes we do have these few hours of transition from initially hearing a bad news to taking action.

Biologically speaking, when you are angry, all good judgment goes out in flame. Your body is pumping adrenaline, your brain is in fight mode, your pre-frontal cortex is shut down and you see all red! While being in the red, you have access to the world at your finger tip and you are basically ready to let someone have it. I have had multiple instances, where I posted things and then deleted them within seconds of publishing. Also I have written long comments that I deleted halfway through. I have had to train my mind to ignore nonsense, and when I am really offended I just look for the “block” button. Isn’t this control amazing? Yes and No.

Are we then learning to run away better? If the world is on fire and all I can do to cope is deleting my social media account forever then we are in big trouble! While withdrawing might provide temporary relief, if you ever come back the world will not suddenly be any better. So the Key is to process better and aim for positive and sustainable impact. A) develop some coping mechanism that allows you to release the pressure so you can get on with your day. B) Do not share your anger unless you are aiming for a positive impact. For ex. signing a petition against injustice and share it on social media, expressing INFORMED opinion on a scandal and lesson learned vs. sharing nonsensical violence just for the sake of sharing. I am tired of seeing videos of children being abused without the closure that someone is doing something about that! I am tired of seeing videos of victims just for show and no insightful messages attached to them!

Last April, I spent a month on my instagram page sharing different inexpensive coping skills that promote a healthy emotional well-being. But every day, I am more convinced that the only coping skill that will never fail is the scriptures of God. Last night after reading everywhere about the shooting in Texas I started reciting Psalms 46, and for the first time my body shivered with that psalm. I know this Psalm by heart since I was a child, but I have only recited meaningfully last night. I must have recited in my head several times before my mind started to skip verses and as I was falling asleep I keep forgetting if I finished the psalm or if I was in verse 5. I am a collector of any coping skills that have to do with books, music, notebook and a pen, but bible journaling has been the most effective coping skill I have ever used. I am even now considering getting one of those creative bibles. It is truly comforting to flip your bible pages and come across verses that speak exactly on your current emotions, or remembering memorized passage and reciting them like an affirmation to help you breathe through the moment.

If you have never read the bible, I suggest you grab one and start with the book of Proverbs, which is always relatable, then go back to the beginning. If you are not yet interested in taking this leap, then find something healthy to do at home. Do you have a healthy coping that will not require you to pay for gas, ticket or takeouts? Do you have an instant coping mechanism that you can resort to on the spot when you are hit with life’s challenges? Please, you have to develop one! Get into gardening, a good show, book, dancing, cooking whatever… It will be worth it! Believe me.

Let’s all aim better with our message to the world! We may not be able to control the speed of technology, but we have control over the contents. Do better!